Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Happy birthday to me...

So, I turn 39 tomorrow. I just can't get excited about it and it has me in a funk. Maybe because it's my last year of my 30's. At least when I turn 40, I'll be looking ahead to another decade instead of looking back at the one that is rapidly coming to a close.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Wasn't that a fatality move in Mortal Kombat?

On March 26th, a group of surgeons were the first in the U.S. to remove a woman's inflamed appendix through her vagina. You can read about it here.

Republicans in Congress immediately began arguing over when the appendix becomes "viable".

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Ethos Water (or How I Can Feel Accomplished Even Though I Did Nothing)

Starbucks occupies a piece of real estate in my building. I'm in there frequently, solely due to my desire to make everything as easy as possible. I'm not a fan of their coffee, but compared to whatever it is they provide at my office, it's more than adequate at 7:30 in the morning.

Starbucks sells Ethos Water. It sits in a basket in front of the baked goods, bottle after bottle, with a blue label on clear plastic. The design is the defacto standard for bottled water, in seems.

Ethos Water isn't just any ol' water. Five cents of every purchase goes to providing clean drinking water for children in developing countries. That's what the bottle says. Five cents. The water costs $1.80 after tax. So $1.75 goes to producing the product and profit for the Ethos people and Starbucks.

The upwardly mobile in my building set bottles on the counter with pride as they purchase their lattes. Nobody seems to set it on the counter. They make sure it's audible, followed by signaling their intent to the barista, "I'll take an Ethos Water, too." Not a "water". Not a "bottled water". An "Ethos Water".

Yes, we all now know of your intense desire to help poor children stuck with poor water. I wish I had some sort of medal or emblem to pin on your chest. My eyes well with tears. You are a kindred spirit with Bono.

The children love your five cents. They don't realize you have perfectly drinkable water at your disposal. Turn the tap and it flows. Wonderful, clean water. It's damn near free, too. Hell, if you drank it and donated $1.80 to those kids every single time you drank a glass, some of their problems might be solved a bit more quickly.

But would anyone notice, aside from the kids? You'd look like a real ass if you ran around the building lobby, stuffing a dollar eighty into an envelope, shouting "Look at me! Look what I'm doing! I care!"

I'll let you in on a dirty little secret: You look like an ass buying Ethos Water, sending five cents to help out, while you drink your four dollar latte and add that damn blue-labeled plastic bottle to the landfill. (We know you don't really recycle.)

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Reunion

I'm debating whether or not to go to my 20th high school reunion. I'm fairly indifferent at this point. I went to my 10th and had a decent enough time, but I'm not sure I really feel the need to catch up with any of these people. I need to make the decision soon, as it's a month away.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Monday, August 27, 2007

The correct answer? Because Americans watch drivel like the Teen USA Pageant.

The most cringe-worthy response to a question I've ever seen. She'll be a stripper or a trophy wife one day. Maybe both.



The worst part? She apparently lifted her answer verbatim from George W. Bush's last speech on the state of education.

Surprised? Please...this is the country where people have to use "lifelines" on a show entitled "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?"

Friday, August 24, 2007

Magic and Science

Another interesting Times article regarding the narrowness of perception and how leading magicians are assisting scientists to reveal information about our consciousness. Read it here.

"You should try and be as interesting as possible..."

A fun little read from the New York Times that you can find here regarding the possiblity and probability of our universe simply being a computer simulation in which we all exist.

Aside from being an intriguing little concept, I was struck by a suggestion from George Mason economist Robin Hanson that we, if this is the case, "should try to be as interesting as possible, on the theory that the designer is more likely to keep you around for the next simulation."

Regardless of the nature of our existence, that's sage advice.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Indifference: What years of marriage will do to you.

From the Associated Press:

Harlingen, Texas:

A man whose wife's decomposing body was found in a storage room of their home said he thought she had left him.

Eugene Pilouw, who said diabetes has damaged the nerves in his nose, said he noticed that his wife was missing July 12. Three days later, his daughter found his wife's body in a storage room in the back area of the home.

"I thought she had run away from home again, especially after I noticed an envelope with $250 was missing," he said.

After Pilouw decided to give his cats away, his daughter went to his home July 15 to pick one up.

"She went to the last storeroom to look for a cat carrier and found the body", he said.


I find his level of concern quite humorous. "She went missing and I just started to give away the cats. "



Sunday, July 29, 2007

The Simpsons are dead. Long live the Simpsons!

Apparently, the new Simpsons movie made right at 72 million dollars this weekend.

Woohoo!!!

I have yet to see it, but the general consensus among people I've talked to is the film has so much going on in it, you can't catch it all in one viewing. This could bode well for future revenue if folks are willing to see it multiple times.

So much for all the naysayers claiming the Simpsons are past their prime and on the way out.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Can we stop televising police chases now?

Two news helicopters collided in mid-air while following an ongoing high-speed chase involving police and a suspect in Phoenix, Arizona. Read about it here.

A question

Do you people really need to reproduce at such an alarming rate? Is one or two kids just not enough? Are you planning are starting up a sweat shop in your basement, using all these kids as workers? Do you honestly believe your genes are so special that they need to be spread out over as much of the world as possible?

Stop fucking breeding!!!!

Maybe we could save some of our planet's resources and reverse the climate changes if, instead of driving a hybrid, we stop introducing absurd numbers of humans into the world.

I think that's the dirty little secret no one wants to address.

Rain, rain and more rain

Not quite our usual summer around here. As we move into the final days of July, we've had more than a year's worth of rain and have yet to make it to 100 degrees, a mark we usually hit by April. I'm not complaining about the cooler weather, since our summers are usually unbearably hot and humid, requiring minimal excursions out into the non-air conditioned world, but the rain has been out of control. Mosquitoes are everywhere and can't be avoided. The grass grows knee-high before it's dry enough to even attempt to cut it. The shear amount of mold in the air makes breathing, for those of us with the allergy, quite the adventure, while instigating brutal headaches.

So...summer still sucks.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

And the absurdity continues...

So, a drug sniffing dog has been fired for sexual harassment. You can read about it here.

If you are liable for your dog biting someone, are you liable for him sexually harassing women? I once had a dog that greeted everyone by burying his face in their crotch. It was embarrassing, but I'd hate to think I could have been sued for it.

Oops!

It's been brought to my attention that I have let this little endeavor lapse for quite some time. I accidentally deleted all old posts in a drunken stupor one night (why can't I make that happen with actual incidents in my life), and never really made it back here.

So...here I am, ready once again to post trivial and inane bullshit on this page that likely entertains no one but myself. Isn't that what blogging is all about? Actually, that may be what life is all about, or at least seems to be at times, but that's fodder for another post.